Cover Letter

Over the coarse of this semester I have learned so much. I've written two papers one was a analyzing paper and the other was a response. While writing these papers I was taught many elements that would help me write my papers. The single thing I learned in this class would have to be my weak points. While in high school I really thought that my papers were really good. Perhaps they were on the high school level but I would find out where I would need improvements for my papers to be on the college level. I learned that I used commas in the wrong ways in my papers. By reading the handbook that I was told to buy, I learned about where to use commas and where they weren't neccasary. The one thing that I want to continue learning would be the editing process. I learned many techniques that helps us in the process of writing our papers that I find very helpful. These techniques have so far aloud me to take what I considered an ok paper and make it a great paper. These techniques allow me to expand and grow from that high school level to a college level.

Grading sample Papers

On the Foreign Athletics Paper this person would recieve a B about an 84. I picked this grade because for Clarity and Purpose there is no set thesies it is once you read the paragraphs you understand what the author is talking about. Quality of Thought was ok I felt like there were times where he would repeat some of the thoughts over and over thought the whole paper. Organization of Content was pretty good. He used his sources well, every quote had proper reference and documentation. The author language and stlye was ok not much strong vocabulary and diction. As for Grammar and Mechanics and was pretty good.

On the Online College vs. Online High School this person would recieve a D about a 65. I picked this grade because there was no real thesis I could pinpoint. Quality of Thought some of his points was kind of unclear. In Organization this author was all over the place. They used some but not much. Language and style was not good there were mistakes throughout the whole paper.

On the Predisposed to Divorce this person would recieve a B+ almost a 93. I gave them this grade because the thesis was apparant. There Quality of Thought was good they supported each though with a clear support. Organization was done well they made a great developing argument. When the author quote a sorce the proper documentaion was used. Language and style was used well it supported the purpose well. This paper had slight grammartical mistakes.

On the NAACP Case Against Gun Manufactures this person would get a B about an 85. I would give them this because the Clarity of purpose isn't really apparant I think th e intro could have been better. As for Quality of Thought was pretty good the claims was all supported with reason. Organization was good a well on point was followed by another in a way that was easy to understand and had a good flow. Use of sources was used well when the author quoted a soucre they used the proper doumentaion. Language and style wasn't complex but it allowed me to follow along and it supported the purpose. Grammar and Stlye was good not any major grammar errors none that would take away from the reading in any way.

Lets Analyze

Hagelin writes about how video games can lead to violence among children. Hagelin who notes that she is a mother writes from the point of view of a mother. In fact that is one of her jobs, to write for WorldNetDaily.com (the same website that was selling "NOBama" magnetic bumper stickers), and Townhall.com called "Heat Beat". She writes about social issues through the eyes of a mother. So does that automatically mean that her views and ideas are at all creadiable? They say that yes indeed a mother knows best, but I mean we have to draw the line on somethings. Hagelin uses a statement from Dr. Elizabeth Carll of the America Psychological Association to help justify some of her points. Hagelin uses the advice of Dr. Carll but how credible is Dr. Carll? Yet still she is only one opinion so can we just automatically take her word on anything she says about this matter as well. Carll says that games enhance the
"learning experince". Hagelin uses this statement to her advantage by saying that this "learning expeerince" the children are doing is teaching them to become corruptive and commit acts of violence. Dr Carll in this online website http://www.apa.org/releases/videoviolence05.html is quoted for saying that violent games may create "aggressive behavior" in children. Which is not the same at all as violent as Hagelin is trying to say. Hagelin clearly twistes up these words in order for her points to have some solid ground to stand up on. If she will twist the words of Dr. Carll is it possible that she twisted up these events in order to make video games appear more harmful then they really are?

Video Games

The article I picked to analize was Rebecca Hagelin's "Video Game Violence and Our Sons". The reason I picked this one was because she stated many key points in her article supported by reasons to support her article. She wrote her article to express how the videos games is resulting violent behavior in today's youth. A lot of violence among our youth in her opinion is cause by a lot of today's games like Grand Theft Auto. In this game your suppose to steal cars, beat up police officers, and wreck havoc on the city. That after we play these games hours after hour that these types of games are like murder simulators. Although I may not agree with a lot of her views on this issue her article is quite informative. Rebecca Hagelin also gave her opinion as a mother which I believe to her audience maybe very effective in her reasoning and beliefs of video games.